(Late) Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Nurture?

(I was supposed to post this last Wednesday for Wishcasting Wednesday but life got in the way - which is another way of saying "I was sooo darn tired I plodded home and fell asleep with my shoes on".  Here it is though -- I always thought wishes didn't have to made on a particular day.)

I once knew a little girl –  she was fearless.  She asked questions, probed into things, danced whenever she felt like it, sang loudly, spoke clear and  true.  There was in her eyes an infinite amount of curiousity and the world to her was an endless source of adventure.  She climbed trees and rooftops and walked atop neighbor’s fences.  She never opened the  gate to go in or out – she always climbed over it.

From my July 2011 Art Journal

People warned her to be careful telling her that little girls who asked too many questions and spoke her mind too much were likely to get in trouble.  They told her to speak softly and bat her eyelashes and say pretty please to get what she wanted – saying No, cocking an eyebrow when she disagreed and basically acting (even thinking) like a boy would get her nowhere.   When she heard this, she cocked an eyebrow and squinted and thought:  that may not all be true.

But the world she lived in was inhabited by more people who believed the warnings to be true and by only a few who whispered “NO, go on” (and even these few lived underground so it was hard for her to find them).  And so slowly the fearless child forced herself to follow their advice, at first painfully swallowing what was forced down her throat and later, numbly accepting that fearless children should not exist.  And bit by bit, the fearless little girl faded away and in her place stood a waif of an excuse for a woman.

Sometime ago though, the fearless child, summoned by some unknown call, woke but the woman did not recognize her.  The child too was afraid of this woman, who was both, at all times,  her Mother and her Self.  They did not know what to make of each other but they knew they could not live without the other.  And so a tentative bond began to form between this unsure, cowed woman and the fearless, curious child.  With each passing day, the bond grew stronger as they recognized the other and took turns caring for each other. 

I wish to continue to nurture this fearless child, that wild-haired, barefoot spirit that is as much me as is the poised, controlled woman in the dark business suit and heels.   She has been in hiding for too long and deserves to be set free again.  I wish to nurture the tenuous bond between us – she needs to learn to trust the world again for it has, in some ways changed.  And I need to learn to trust her instincts too so that once again I will be able to see as she does.

Rock My World

I love it when someone is able to turn a passion into a worthwhile endeavour.  I think that is the happiest, coolest, wildest, OMG-the-Universe-has-finally-listened  thing that can happen to ANYONE.

Some people get their wishes and are able to turn a lifelong passion into a successful career.  Some people end up running the business of their dreams. Some are able to live the life they so love.  And still, there are some, who are able to tweak this and do something that can totally rock your world - not to mention a few depressed communities as well.

In September 2006, a group of young professionals with a deep passion for music and the arts decided they wanted to go and run with an idea they’ve had percolating in their (mostly right-side thinking) brains.   They wanted to use their professional expertise and creative talents to give something to the community.  They sat down and started brainstorming.  A name for the group came up: Rock for Humanity.  Hmmmm – I like. 

Rock and Feed at Barangay Balangkas, Valenzuela
Photo courtesy of RHuM

They sat down some more and did some more brainstorming and planning.  And then things started to RHuM-ble.

Starting with the White Bag Project,  this motley crew of graphic artists, writers, filmmakers, musicians, child advocates, visual artists and designers raised funds through gigs and exhibits to fill up white bags with basic necessities like food, health kits and school supplies to be given away to children living in depressed communities. 

Community Gift Giving at Bgy. Dona Imelda, Araneta Avenue
Photo courtesy of RHuM

Children eagerly wait for their goodies at Bgy. Balangkas ValenzuelaPhoto courtesy of RHuM

This year, they have decided to go one step further in their advocacy to help deserving but poor communities with RHuM Mobile: Travelling Community Bazaar.   The Travelling Bazaar picks one local community each month and they set up there – with proceeds of the bazaar booth rentals and such going toward furthering community projects and other advocacies of the group.  This July, they have chosen to hold it at the Bulwagang Claret, Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish at Mahinhin Street, UP Diliman.  This bazaar, scheduled for July 31, 2011 from 9 am to 9 pm,  will benefit the communities adopted by the Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish.  

The bazaar highlights some of the best Filipino handmade goods you can find – and more.  Rock for Humanity Travelling Bazaar promises not only to be a bazaar shopper’s dream but also a feast for the other senses as well.  There will be an artsy cafe set-up where you can hang out and listen to Pinoy rock band TOYO and other Pinoy indie performers, food booths selling yummy Pinoy favourites and new recipes, booths featuring  businesses based in the community,  and exhibits mounted by Pinoy visual artists. It’s going to be one awesome, rocking, deal-filled Sunday  I’m sure.

Toyo at Penguin, Malate

Rockin' kids at Bgy. Balangkas, Valenzuela

RHuM is also opening its doors to those who would like to sell their handmade items or showcase their artwork.  Booth prices are very reasonable – plus, there’s the bonus of being able to contribute to a worthy cause.   If you’re interested, you can contact Beng Ragon via email at rhumobile@gmail.com.  You can also reach Beng through these numbers:  0918-9362450/ 0927-4294962 and telefax 448-6670 and of course you can get the latest updates via their Facebook page. Volunteers for the events are also needed so sign up - it's an awesome chance to give back! And if you know of a community that can benefit from RHuM's efforts, the group is open to set up camp and rock for 'ya!

I’m looking forward to being there on the 31^st to take in the sights and sounds and of course to shop handmade.  I have a feeling I’ll be following this travelling bazaar around town.  Heh – never thought I’d become a bazaar groupie.  LOL.

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Begin?

I've been living in shadow, afraid to step across the threshold into the sunlight that lies inches from my feet.  I watch other people live their lives the way they want to -- following paths they have chosen, playing games with rules they made up -- and I wonder if I can ever be like that.

Everyday I get up and put on my mask.  It is not me, it never was. I only wear it because I have to, because people I love depend on me wearing that mask so they can live the life they want. So I stand still in the shadow, waiting till it's safe to take the mask off and live. It can be an awful bore most times, and a gut wrenching pain always.

I wish to begin living authentically. The mask is old and worn and has started to fray. I am starting to fray and unravel.  Maybe I should let it - let the mask fray into shreds and drop useless at my feet that stands inches from the sunlight I crave.  Then maybe I can look in the mirror and see me.  I am sure I will like what I see.

And maybe, after living all these years in the dark, wearing clothes and shoes that don't fit, walking steadily but never dancing, humming but never singing, talking but never speaking, touching yet never connecting - I can finally BE.

Well Whaddya Know

I always thought I was invisible. You know the drill -- you keep raising your hand but teacher never calls on you and you're sooooo sure you know the answer and someone gets called and she/he flubs it. That's what happens to me all the time. Or at least I THOUGHT that's what happened to me all the time.

I didn't know I was being talked about. And this is the kind of gossip I like -- being mentioned in Entrepreneur Philippines Online.

And to think I woke up today feeling majorly blah. One never knows how a day can turn out.

Are We Dead Yet?

The world was supposed to end yesterday.  Harold Camping said it would. 

It’s Sunday and I’m posting this so I don’t think it did.

On the day the world was supposed to end, I sat at the office working on stuff that would never, ever contribute to world peace.  Or help bring back ecological balance.  Or arrest poverty.  Or even help ease traffic in the city by just a teeny-weeny bit.

And while I sat there amidst the piles of paper that are exact duplicates of piles of paper in another office in another country,  I listened intently for that first, almost imperceptible crack that would herald a major, mega-mega earthquake, or the first pitter-pat of rain that would come before an  Ondoy multiplied by a million times,   or a screeching in the distance followed by loud explosions – oops, asteroid drop.

They never came. 

In fact, the day was so – well, ordinary – that I managed to finish so much work in half the time it usually takes me, giving me a few hours to mull over my (as of yet) insignificant existence and motley contribution to what we call “humanity”. 

I started by mulling over what I would do if it became apparent that the world was indeed going to end.  Here’s what my brain came up with:

I would try to get home. 

If Chicken Little came running into my office declaring that the sky was falling, I would want to be crushed by it while surrounded with the people I love.  I’d run, jump, skip over debris and bodies, swim against a roaring current, march valiantly against violent winds just to get home and be with my family.  Being found buried under piles of useless paper and concrete is not my idea of a graceful death.  Besides, who would yell at my kids and tell them to stay indoors and quit playing tag with the fiery hailstones falling from the sky?

b)      I would tell everyone I love just how much I love them – and everyone I hate exactly how I feel.

It would be liberating to just go up to someone I totally dislike and tell them to their face: “The world is ending and you s*(&ck!”.  But then knowing how I am, I’d probably just watch the earth swallow them up, a cigarette in my free hand (one hand will be clinging to the tree branch that’s keeping me from falling down the hole with them  – don’t ask me how I got the cigarette lighted, okay?).   However, saying that to them at that exact moment may not have the impact I’d want – they’d be too busy trying not to get killed to care.  Wasted energy.

So,  after much thought, I’d probably just go with a group hug and tell everyone I love just how much they mean to me.  And maybe promise my dad that I will finally quit smoking.

c)   

       If, for some strange reason, I survive, I will curb the attempt to think that I must have a special purpose since I was spared.

Putting too much meaning into the random luck of being missed by a meteor or a falling wall could get me into a delusional state preventing me from doing work that must be done – like helping everyone else who survived live a little longer.   Thinking I’m special because I was spared won’t do much when everyone else is thinking the same.   Someone needs to take out the garbage. 

d)      I’d stock up on painkillers – if I can find them.

I’m a patsy for pain. I can’t stand it.  'Nuff said.

e)     I’d find a way to stock food and water.

Wouldn’t last long without these now, would we?  But just thinking of having a diet of corned tuna salvaged from whacked out cans for days makes me cringe.   I’m certainly no Marianne Rivera.   

f)      If it’s safe (meaning there are no zombies walking around waiting to turn me into dinner), I’ll take a walk around our neighborhood.

Might be a good idea to check which of my neighbours made it.  After all, when the zombies do come, we need to fight them together - unless of course they’ve been turned into zombies themselves.

I think it would be good to know who I will be living next to post-apocalypse.  It would also be a good time to get organized and come up with ways to ride out the early days together.

g    I would go check which of my books made it.

When the sky falls, I assume the Internet would be wiped out.  And the books I have hoarded all these years would be even more valuable to me.

Find a quiet spot to sit and thank the Universe for all I have – no matter how little it seems.

I may have lost my home, my possessions, and other stuff I’ve kept all these years that my grandma used to point to and say “Apo, you can’t take those with you when you die”.  But I would still have my family (there is NO WAY I would let anything happen to them) and I’d still have my wits about me and most importantly, I would still have faith and hope that all this is temporary.

The world didn’t end yesterday.

Now get back to work.

Day Two

I wonder if I will get to Day 3.  There's this rumor going around that the world ends on May 21st and that the meltdown starts at 6:00 p.m. Well, it's past midnight where I am so that gives me a little less than 18 hours to get my act straightened up. Geesh, I hate being rushed.

I'll let you know tomorrow if I made it.

Day One

What am I doing starting another blog? Don't I have enough to do yet?

I'd rather not answer that.

Well, yeah - I WILL answer that. I have enough to do but a lot of them are NOT what I would like to do.

And what is it that I really like to do?

It depends.

What day is it?