(Late) Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Nurture?

(I was supposed to post this last Wednesday for Wishcasting Wednesday but life got in the way - which is another way of saying "I was sooo darn tired I plodded home and fell asleep with my shoes on".  Here it is though -- I always thought wishes didn't have to made on a particular day.)

I once knew a little girl –  she was fearless.  She asked questions, probed into things, danced whenever she felt like it, sang loudly, spoke clear and  true.  There was in her eyes an infinite amount of curiousity and the world to her was an endless source of adventure.  She climbed trees and rooftops and walked atop neighbor’s fences.  She never opened the  gate to go in or out – she always climbed over it.

From my July 2011 Art Journal

People warned her to be careful telling her that little girls who asked too many questions and spoke her mind too much were likely to get in trouble.  They told her to speak softly and bat her eyelashes and say pretty please to get what she wanted – saying No, cocking an eyebrow when she disagreed and basically acting (even thinking) like a boy would get her nowhere.   When she heard this, she cocked an eyebrow and squinted and thought:  that may not all be true.

But the world she lived in was inhabited by more people who believed the warnings to be true and by only a few who whispered “NO, go on” (and even these few lived underground so it was hard for her to find them).  And so slowly the fearless child forced herself to follow their advice, at first painfully swallowing what was forced down her throat and later, numbly accepting that fearless children should not exist.  And bit by bit, the fearless little girl faded away and in her place stood a waif of an excuse for a woman.

Sometime ago though, the fearless child, summoned by some unknown call, woke but the woman did not recognize her.  The child too was afraid of this woman, who was both, at all times,  her Mother and her Self.  They did not know what to make of each other but they knew they could not live without the other.  And so a tentative bond began to form between this unsure, cowed woman and the fearless, curious child.  With each passing day, the bond grew stronger as they recognized the other and took turns caring for each other. 

I wish to continue to nurture this fearless child, that wild-haired, barefoot spirit that is as much me as is the poised, controlled woman in the dark business suit and heels.   She has been in hiding for too long and deserves to be set free again.  I wish to nurture the tenuous bond between us – she needs to learn to trust the world again for it has, in some ways changed.  And I need to learn to trust her instincts too so that once again I will be able to see as she does.

Art Everyday: Becoming More Daring with Noses

The obsession is still on with noses.  This time, I wanted to draw it in profile.

So on a rather long, boring day I managed to give it a try

I think this one is quite okay - first try, beginner's luck. It's far from perfect and I don't want any of what  I draw to be.  It's the little imperfections that make it real to me.

Drawing the eye on this one was a blast though -- so I think I know what my next obsession will be.

Art Everyday: Trapped? (A Couple of Pages from My Art Journal)

Seriously, you expect me to be quiet?

And do you really think I will never, ever fly?

I'm growing my wings now. And my voice is no longer the raspy whisper it used to be.  

Soon. 

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Try?

I badly need a vacation.  Somewhere. Anywhere.

I have not had one in a while and I've been craving the ocean and I would love to see my old friend again. Here's the thing about vacations though -- I have never taken one alone.

Vacation time with family is usually so stressful for me that I would find myself wanting a vacation from my vacation - if you were put in charge of handling all the arrangements you would understand I guess. And now here I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms caused by a vacationless year.  But this year I would like to do it differently. I'd like to go off on my own.

This sort of thing is never heard of in my family.  We go everywhere together -- except the bathroom -- and the thought of me wanting a few days away from them would probably be taken as a huge insult.  It's taboo. We don't do that. How can you go away on your own and leave us? (Cue in melodramatic music here)

But I think I need to. And I would like to try that. To have a few days on my own, maybe in some place I am not totally familiar with, would probably jolt my brain into hyperdrive and wake me up to what I am missing.  Becoming lost in unfamiliar streets would be an adventure.  Communicating in sign language because I can't speak what they speak would bring out the hidden thespian in me I'm sure.  Eating something unrecognizable would be totally allowed and there will be no one to warn me that I may not have packed enough Imodium or Pepto-Bismol.  Sleeping in out of the way places (without having to worry if they had cable TV or internet connection) and waking up when I want to would be heaven.  And sitting still, staring off to nowhere or doodling in my sketchbook would not be interrupted by trips to go see some of the sites, or shopping, or even the flash of an unexpected camera that always seems to catch me each time I open my mouth wide to yawn.

I wish to try going off alone to see the world the way I see it. I wish to see if by doing so, I can somehow tune out and tune in.  I would like to discover a new place on my own terms,  to listen, ears close to the ground, as a place tells me its story on its own, just the way it should be told.  I want to be able to walk up to people and  prove that the human race isn't doomed because there still those who are more than willing to help a silly lost woman find her way.

Now that would be an adventure worth retelling.

Art Everyday: Sniffing Out the Perfect Nose

For some reason I’ve been obsessed lately with perfecting the NOSE.  Looking at my past drawings, I realized that in the faces I drew, the nose was usually represented by either an L-shaped, slightly askew line 

or a squiggle with some shading to show the outline of what I hoped looked more or less like a nose.      

And while they work for me (I sort of like the whimsy that a squiggled nose evokes), I figured it would not be a bad thing to learn how to draw a nose correctly – or, should I say, a little more accurately than a squiggle.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I have never had any formal art lessons.  At the rate these cost, I don’t think I ever will get the chance to attend any LOL. But if one is resourceful enough (okay, obsessed enough in my case), there’s no reason not to find and get what you need.   I wanted to draw a nose properly – so I went to look for someone to teach me.

I found my teachers on the internet of course.  There are tons of free tutorials on just about anything on the net and   this tutorial video by Dan Nelson  was particularly helpful to me.

My eyes bleary from watching the tutorials , I bravely took one of my sketchbooks and sat myself down to draw me a perfect nose. 

It wasn’t easy.   

The first few still looked like squiggles.  Only this time they looked like properly shaded squiggles.

I tried again.  And I think I managed something quite decent.  Rather crooked, but a bit decent.

And again. And again. And again.

I never thought I’d knock  myself out drawing noses.  But I did.

After two days of shading in nostrils, trying to shade in a proper philtrum ('ya know – that little indentation between the nose and the mouth?)  and kicking myself for drawing yet another version of the Wicked Witch of the West’s nose, I think I finally have the hang of it.

I think.  

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Ask For?

I saw an old woman the other day.  She was wearing an orange top and white pants and white wedge heels.  Her hair, silvery gray in the dusky evening light, shone around her face like a soft halo.  She wore red lipstick – and smiled like a beauty queen greeting an adoring crowd.  I actually expected her to raise her arm, laden with 3 or 4 colorful bangles, to wave benevolently to the security guard at the door.

From my little perch in the corner of a coffee shop I watched her go up the escalator.  Unlike women her age she stepped onto that escalator with confidence – no wavering for this little ‘ol lady, no hanging onto the handrail, no waiting for someone to help her.  At the top, she looked around and then started to walk quickly toward a group of people, arms outstretched, her smile wider than ever.  Grandchildren surrounded her and I could see hugs and kisses being dispensed with abandon.

At that moment I thought: I want that. Exactly that. To live long, and happy and proud and strong and loved. To wear whatever color I want to wear and not to worry that I’m wearing too many bangles on my arms.  To be able to go to anywhere by myself, my gray hair and red lipstick announcing my presence.

That is what I ask for.  A long life filled with love, family, success, comfort and strength.  A long life where laughter is served daily and deep, quiet moments are given over for fondly remembering what went before – and yes, maybe allowing a painful memory or two in, if only so I can be more thankful for the happy ones.

Rock My World

I love it when someone is able to turn a passion into a worthwhile endeavour.  I think that is the happiest, coolest, wildest, OMG-the-Universe-has-finally-listened  thing that can happen to ANYONE.

Some people get their wishes and are able to turn a lifelong passion into a successful career.  Some people end up running the business of their dreams. Some are able to live the life they so love.  And still, there are some, who are able to tweak this and do something that can totally rock your world - not to mention a few depressed communities as well.

In September 2006, a group of young professionals with a deep passion for music and the arts decided they wanted to go and run with an idea they’ve had percolating in their (mostly right-side thinking) brains.   They wanted to use their professional expertise and creative talents to give something to the community.  They sat down and started brainstorming.  A name for the group came up: Rock for Humanity.  Hmmmm – I like. 

Rock and Feed at Barangay Balangkas, Valenzuela
Photo courtesy of RHuM

They sat down some more and did some more brainstorming and planning.  And then things started to RHuM-ble.

Starting with the White Bag Project,  this motley crew of graphic artists, writers, filmmakers, musicians, child advocates, visual artists and designers raised funds through gigs and exhibits to fill up white bags with basic necessities like food, health kits and school supplies to be given away to children living in depressed communities. 

Community Gift Giving at Bgy. Dona Imelda, Araneta Avenue
Photo courtesy of RHuM

Children eagerly wait for their goodies at Bgy. Balangkas ValenzuelaPhoto courtesy of RHuM

This year, they have decided to go one step further in their advocacy to help deserving but poor communities with RHuM Mobile: Travelling Community Bazaar.   The Travelling Bazaar picks one local community each month and they set up there – with proceeds of the bazaar booth rentals and such going toward furthering community projects and other advocacies of the group.  This July, they have chosen to hold it at the Bulwagang Claret, Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish at Mahinhin Street, UP Diliman.  This bazaar, scheduled for July 31, 2011 from 9 am to 9 pm,  will benefit the communities adopted by the Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish.  

The bazaar highlights some of the best Filipino handmade goods you can find – and more.  Rock for Humanity Travelling Bazaar promises not only to be a bazaar shopper’s dream but also a feast for the other senses as well.  There will be an artsy cafe set-up where you can hang out and listen to Pinoy rock band TOYO and other Pinoy indie performers, food booths selling yummy Pinoy favourites and new recipes, booths featuring  businesses based in the community,  and exhibits mounted by Pinoy visual artists. It’s going to be one awesome, rocking, deal-filled Sunday  I’m sure.

Toyo at Penguin, Malate

Rockin' kids at Bgy. Balangkas, Valenzuela

RHuM is also opening its doors to those who would like to sell their handmade items or showcase their artwork.  Booth prices are very reasonable – plus, there’s the bonus of being able to contribute to a worthy cause.   If you’re interested, you can contact Beng Ragon via email at rhumobile@gmail.com.  You can also reach Beng through these numbers:  0918-9362450/ 0927-4294962 and telefax 448-6670 and of course you can get the latest updates via their Facebook page. Volunteers for the events are also needed so sign up - it's an awesome chance to give back! And if you know of a community that can benefit from RHuM's efforts, the group is open to set up camp and rock for 'ya!

I’m looking forward to being there on the 31^st to take in the sights and sounds and of course to shop handmade.  I have a feeling I’ll be following this travelling bazaar around town.  Heh – never thought I’d become a bazaar groupie.  LOL.

Art Everyday -- Or as Often As I Can Squeeze It In

I started an art journal.

The minute I splashed the first coat of gesso onto the first page I thought: What are you thinking girl? When are you going to work on this? While you sleep?

That automatic thought stopped me dead in my tracks -- like, for 10 seconds. Then I went back to splashing more gesso onto the page.  Fifteen minutes later, I had my background ready.  After another 10, I was done. And that's what you see up there. Here's a closer look

It only took me about half an hour (including the time it took me to get my materials ready) which is usually the time I take to space out and stare dumbly into nowhere after dinner.  So I told that nagging censor who insists on living in my head that I was going use those lost 30 minutes to work on my art journal.

And because I like to scare myself, I thought of joining an art journalling community that shares their work online with each other.  Here is the link to learn more about it.

Starting this and joining the group is my brave thing to do this month. (Wait - that's two things so does that mean I don't have to do anything next month?)

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Make Progress On?

The spiral is one of my favorite symbols. A never-ending, open-circle moving either inward or outward depending on how you want to see it, it is to me, the perfect symbol of life and living.

I have somehow incorporated it in almost everything that I have started in the past two years – the start-up business I have is called The Spiral Studio and an online shop I keep is called Spiral, another blog I keep is called My Spiral Notebook and jewelry I create almost always has spirals.

Maybe because the spiral is the best visual way to describe where I am right now – on a journey that really started years ago but one that has only become more urgent and deeper recently.  I walk in a spiral - upward and outward when I reach for something I dream of, down and in when I pause and breathe and regroup and remember.  I travel the spiral wearing shoes lined with hope and faith, not really knowing what and where and how – I only know I have to keep moving in the direction I have taken because to stop would mean death.

I wish to progress more fully on my journey.  Lately, I have found that I have become keener to picking up clues that the Universe has scattered in front of me.  I have also been more discerning in choosing which ones to take seriously, which one to pursue.  I am taking small, small steps to where I want to be and becoming less fearless as I go.  And on those days when it feels like nothing is going right, when everything seems to have stood still like dark water in a stagnant pond, I am not afraid to stop and breathe and go inward and listen to the whispering of lessons learned, of memories that, though painful, help push me forward and upward and outward again.

I wish to move forward at the pace that I should – no rush, progress should come as I am fit to receive it and able to handle it.  I have started to walk, someday I will run and then maybe walk again and possibly stop and then run again. Who knows.  Whatever it is I wish to progress toward doing what I am meant to do and be.

Write It Down

“Dear Universe, it would be nice if you could clue me in on where I can find blank journals to write on.”

I’ve heard it said time and again, ask and you shall receive. And I did.  Look what I found

Photo courtesy of Alunsina Handbound Books

My search for journals and blank books has led to some pretty interesting finds like the unbelievably pretty little ones from Free Verse Paperie which I wrote about in this post.  But, leather bound ones are, for me, to die for. So forgive me for drooling over these journals by Alunsina Handbound Books.

Leather bound journals
 Photo from Alunsina Handbound Books

Photo courtesy of Alunsina Handbound 

I love these journals because they are handmade.  It takes four to eight hours to make one journal and Coptic binding is used to create them. Which leads me to another reason why I love these journals – Coptic binding (a method of putting together paper to create a book developed by an early group of Christians called the Copts) allows you to open the book flat making it an ideal art journal or every-day-write-what-I-had-for-breakfast journal.  I am left-handed and I really, really, really like journals that I can lay flat to write on.

The covers of these journals also serve to highlight the beauty of indigenous hand-woven fabric from the Philippines. Tinalak, Yakan and  “habi” fabric from Cotabato are just some of the indigenous materials that have graced the covers of Alunsina Handbound journals.  One can also find beautiful journals covered in batik as well as fabric from India and Burma in stock.

Journal covered in indigenous Filipino fabric
Photo courtesy of Alunsina Handbound Books

T'nalak covered journals.
Photo courtesy of Alunsina Handbound Journals

The journals come in  several sizes – again, another reason to love them because I like to carry journals around with me (I have one in my bag and I keep another at home).  There’s the big journal sketchbook which measures 27 cm x 19 cm and the handy-dandy regular journal sketchbook that measures 22 cm. x 14 cm.  Each journal has 112 pages – more than enough to write down all your angst about your most recent break-up don’t you think?

And then, there’s the price.  I know what you’re thinking – “Mahal ‘yan, I’m sure”.  BZZZZZ – wrong answer.  The journals are priced quite reasonably considering all the work that goes into them and the materials they use.  A leather-bound journal will cost you less than P500 and the handy-dandy journal goes for about P300.  Now I think that is QUITE a steal.  And they have wholesale prices too.  Hah! That’s just enough for this journal addict to definitely want a fix.

If you want to read more about these lovely journals, go take a peek at Alunsina Handbound Book’s blog.  Or visit their page on Facebook (I can see you clicking that “LIKE” button already). You can order online and have it delivered to your doorstep - or, if you can't wait to get your hands on them, Alunsina Handbound will be at the Supersale Bazaar at the Rockwell Tent on July 15 - 17, 2011.