Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Say No To?

I am haunted by this lady. She follows me around night and day. She sits across me at breakfast, drinks half my after-lunch cup of coffee, dives into my dessert before I do at dinner and always manages to hog the blanket when I sleep.

She also has the annoying habit of saying NO to everything.

“No you can’t – you’re too old for it. The chance has passed you by.”

“No you don’t – nice girls never do.”

“No – that’s not something your mother would say. Bite your tongue and pray they go away.”

“No – you’re too fat for that dress. And I don’t care if the color makes you feel alive.”

“No – you’re not talented enough.”

“No – it’ll never work. Trust me.”

What is more annoying is that I usually find myself saying Yes to her.  As in: Yes, you’re right. It won’t work/happen/manifest.  Yeah, I believe you.  Yup, I am too fat.  Uh-huh – you’re right again and I should forget that dream/project/idea.

So beginning today – and everyday, I wish to say NO more often to HER. 

No – one is never too old to try and learn something new.

No – I know I am a nice person but I have to stand up for myself sometimes.

No – my mother would most likely be proud of me for speaking my mind. 

No –  I like that dress.  And if I do look fat in it, then maybe I am but I don’t care.

No – I never said I was talented.  I only said that I was brave enough to try so I will.

No – it WILL work.  Trust ME.

So there – you crazy lady with the perpetually pained look – I am saying no. And I wish that you be quiet and leave me alone with my coffee and dessert. 

Art Everyday: Transformers

In one of my posts, I wrote about trying out a technique I read about.  It involves cutting out a magazine image and then painting or drawing over it.

I started out with this photo from a fashion magazine of a male model. What attracted me to this image was how androgynous he looked. (And how he looked like he stepped out of the '80s! LOL)

Look at that hair! 

I wanted to turn him into something unrecognizable and totally different from the original photo. So out came the bucket of gesso and a few coats later, I can fairly say, he's starting to look like a ghost of his former self.

Still wanting to alter this image some more, I dove in with more paint and put in a totally new face with my 5B pencil.  Do you still recognize him?

The initial intention was to turn him into a girl, with rouged cheeks and ruby red lips. Tough luck on that one.  I think my muse knew better :-).

But I did like how the face turned out.  Seemed to have more character and a smidgen of angst.  Now I don't really know why but the wings came next.  And in the end "he" ended up looking like this

If you're not that confident with your drawing skills (like I am) and painting a person from scratch gives you the chills, this is a great technique to try.  Having the original face and figure as a guide gave me the confidence to "draw" in a new one without having to worry about stuff like proportion and anatomy.  I think I'm going to do a few more of these until I gain enough gumption to draw a human figure from scratch.    

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish To Enjoy?

Thinking about this wish prompt made me dig deep to find what the word “enjoy” really means to me.  And I found this – it means savouring with all senses, reading between the lines,  getting down at ground level like a curious two year old to figure out how something works.  It means feeling deeply – even when doing so could leave me raw and scarred.  It means chewing on every morsel of experience that each day brings and taking from it bits to dream with when I fall asleep.  It means listening for sounds that maybe only I can hear – probably because their message is for me alone.  It means breathing in air and picking up the scent of rain, or smoke, or newly cut-grass. 

I wish to enjoy what comes with each day.  Yes, even the things that I would rather not have happen. Because they will only happen once -- and I want to be fully present when I am given the gift of experiencing them.

Sunrises.

And sunsets.

Quiet time.  And loud laughter.

Books to read and paint to create worlds with.

Rush hour traffic.  And long lines at the grocery store.

A leaking faucet.  A dog that just can’t be taught anything.

Rain - preferably with loud, booming thunder.

And harsh, hot sunlight that sears through skin.

Tears that fall because I hurt – and the realization that I hurt because I feel.  Because I love.

  

Art Everyday: Scrapped

Okay -- I admit it.  I don't like to waste anything when it comes to my art materials.  We all know how expensive these can get and having imposed a strict monthly budget on my art spending, I have found myself keeping even the tiniest bit of scrap paper or canvass.  Some people would call me a pack rat.  I call myself frugal.

These little bits and pieces that get thrown away are still very useful.  Don't believe me? Well, here's a page out of my art journal that was made entirely from scraps.

This page was gessoed over twice.  And then I stopped.  I didn't know what to do with it.  Didn't want to paint it, didn't want to scribble in it.  That was when I turned to my scrap pile.  The torn pages that served as background on this page are what remains of a page I tore off this old book.  I had been using it to protect my work table when I was slapping on paint and some of the red and yellow paint I used sometime ago was on it.  I tore this page up and glued it to the blank white gesso "wall".

Even the face in the art journal page was painted on a scrap piece of paper.  And the paint I used to paint it with was leftover paint from one of the backgrounds I worked on.  Didn't want to waste it so I figured I would turn it into something that I could use later.

Here's a closer look:

Working with scraps has given me some great results and lovely surprises!  When I was painting this face, I was not aware of the spot of red paint on the scrap paper.  How can I not see a bright slash of red?  I don't really know.  What I do know is that I just painted that face, with my leftover paint on my leftover paper.  When I finished, I realized that the red spot was in the perfect place --- it went right across the area where the mouth should go!    And it gave the face just the right amount of color to make it more interesting.

The watercolor that went over the glued scraps were also leftovers -- my niece likes to paint but she doesn't really like to put the caps back onto the paint tubes (she's only two after all).  So her very first set of watercolor tubes all but went rock hard. I snipped off the end of the burnt sienna one, cut up one side and found me enough solid paint in there to give this page a single wash.  The cut-up tube of course is still in my stash -- I'm sure I'll find something to do with it later.

See?  You don't need to run to the art supply store each time you want to create something. All it takes is a little visit to your trusty old stash of "throw-aways" and you're likely to find something in there just waiting for you to give it a second chance at life.

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Choose?

Having to make a choice often stumps me.  Something as simple as picking what I want for lunch can turn into an epic saga and a major attack of analysis-paralysis so let’s not even try to discuss how I go about making the big ones.

I get stumped because when faced with making a choice, I always tend to go with the one that makes the least ripples, the ones that create the least tension, the ones that will please everyone.  Sadly, the ripples turn into large waves of regret, the tension forever lives in my bones and in the end, I am usually the only one who is not pleased. 

I usually end up making the “safe” choice, the one that won’t raise any eyebrows, won’t cause much talk, won’t  freak anyone out too much, won’t make much of a dent, won’t show against the pristine background of my life.  I’ll go make the choice that matters to THEM, the one that’s FOR them.  And what about the other choice – the one I didn’t take? Oh it’ll sit there and it will be the choice that I will wonder about, the one that will haunt me with the “what ifs”.  It’ll come to me when I fall asleep after a day of compromises, whispering in that all-too familiar voice:  “ What about you?” 

And because I rarely choose the one that will make me sing, the one that will fill my heart, the one that will make me want to get up in the morning  and turn cartwheels at the sheer joy of being alive, I will brush the voice away and tell myself – no, force myself to believe – that I made the right choice. 

So I wish to choose ME.  I choose me.  This time, even just for once – I will choose ME. 

And when I do, then choosing will not be such an agonizing thing to do because even if my choice (on anything!) does create huge tsunami-like waves, I will be happier and fuller and more alive.  And the people close to me will understand because they will see how much better I am for making that choice. 

Of course there will be those who will not understand – but that’s okay.  I didn’t choose them. 

Art Everyday: Art Journals for Cheap

You know I love blank books and notebooks -- the kind with no lines. The plainer the page, the better for me. Looking at a blank page and knowing I can do anything with it -- oh the giddiness of it all!

But blank journals (especially those Moleskine ones) are quite expensive and there is something to my frugal upbringing that squirms each time I try to buy one of those. The thought of slapping paint and paper and filling something with a price tag like that makes me squeamish.  So where do I get my blank book fix?

I make them - out of old books that no one wants to read.  Books that will most likely be tossed into the landfill and left to rot. Old books that cost about P25.00 each over at the second hand books bin. I like the thought of giving these babies a second life.

I do pick them carefully. I always choose the ones with a sewn binding, never the ones that are just glued to a hard spine.  These (the glued ones) tend to self-destruct within 10 seconds of the first application of gesso. The ones with the sewn binding last - well, forever. And they can withstand the tortures I put these books through.  It's also easier to cut out pages to make a thinner book -- the better to add bulky collage elements in.  The kind of book or what it's about also counts for me.  The one I am currently working on used to be a hardbound novel with the title "Point of Origin". I picked it because I felt that it went with what I was starting -- a new journey.

To turn it into a blank art journal, I first take the old, trusty glue stick and glue two or more pages together.  Old book pages can be very porous and gluing two or more pages together makes for a stronger, sturdier substrate that can take paint and water better without fraying or tearing.  Next, one of my favorite parts -- glopping on the gesso.  I love gessoing the pages.  The repetitive movement of brush gliding on the page is almost meditative (to me at least! LOL).  The pages look like this after two very thin coats:

Then it's time to work on the backgrounds.  I spend my weekday evenings working on backgrounds. I love putting on layers and glazes of paint on the page.  And sometimes, to add a little texture, I lay some sheer tissue paper on top of the painted page and crumple it a bit. Two background pages I made last week had that textured look I like.  I stamped them with my wooden stamps from India.

Here's a page with just a plain background (for now).  I still don't know what else I want to do with it

You can use a brush or even a clean kitchen sponge to apply paint.  I keep several cut-up kitchen sponges handy just in case I want to pounce the paint on.  Using a sponge can give you really cool effects and textures.    If you want to go for an antiqued look, you can stain your pages with tea or even coffee.  I sometimes use coffee grounds to do this -- just get some damp coffee grounds and smoosh them on the page.  Messy - yes. But it's fun -- it's play.

And that's what I was up to the past week.  After this post, I'll be going back to my work table to finish something I started over the week-end.  It was an experiment of sorts, just trying out a technique I saw while nosing around, but I like how it turned out.

And tomorrow -- I'm going to take a trip to the used books store to pick up a few more of my "artsy-fartsy journals" in the making.

Wishcasting Wednesday: What Door Do You Wish to Open?

My feet are tapping out an impatient rhythm on the cold, tile floor.  I am waiting, waiting, waiting. In my head, ideas are buzzing around and the images are like hornets in a frenzy. I know I can do it. I have been waiting, waiting, waiting.

I wish to open the door to opportunity.  Not just the garden variety type of opportunity but the in-your-face-shining-like-the-sun-this-is-the-moment-created-for-you kind. I realize that door has opened many times for me before but I never took the step toward it. Either I was too young, too foolish, too afraid, too doubtful, too distracted, too unsure, too busy making a living instead of actually living.  So I tap my feet in an impatient, ragged staccato on the cold, tile floor - waiting, waiting, waiting.

When it does open I will go boldly toward it. I will be afraid but I will go anyway.

When the light peeks through the little crack that appears when the door to opportunity opens, I will breathe deeply and say "Yeah - beam me up".

I wish to crack that door open into the life I've always wanted, step into the person I know I have always been, live the rich, adventurous, rewarding, whole and unbelievably fulfilling life that I have always known to be mine but never took the chance to seize.