(Late) Wishcasting Wednesday: What Do You Wish to Nurture?

(I was supposed to post this last Wednesday for Wishcasting Wednesday but life got in the way - which is another way of saying "I was sooo darn tired I plodded home and fell asleep with my shoes on".  Here it is though -- I always thought wishes didn't have to made on a particular day.)

I once knew a little girl –  she was fearless.  She asked questions, probed into things, danced whenever she felt like it, sang loudly, spoke clear and  true.  There was in her eyes an infinite amount of curiousity and the world to her was an endless source of adventure.  She climbed trees and rooftops and walked atop neighbor’s fences.  She never opened the  gate to go in or out – she always climbed over it.

From my July 2011 Art Journal

People warned her to be careful telling her that little girls who asked too many questions and spoke her mind too much were likely to get in trouble.  They told her to speak softly and bat her eyelashes and say pretty please to get what she wanted – saying No, cocking an eyebrow when she disagreed and basically acting (even thinking) like a boy would get her nowhere.   When she heard this, she cocked an eyebrow and squinted and thought:  that may not all be true.

But the world she lived in was inhabited by more people who believed the warnings to be true and by only a few who whispered “NO, go on” (and even these few lived underground so it was hard for her to find them).  And so slowly the fearless child forced herself to follow their advice, at first painfully swallowing what was forced down her throat and later, numbly accepting that fearless children should not exist.  And bit by bit, the fearless little girl faded away and in her place stood a waif of an excuse for a woman.

Sometime ago though, the fearless child, summoned by some unknown call, woke but the woman did not recognize her.  The child too was afraid of this woman, who was both, at all times,  her Mother and her Self.  They did not know what to make of each other but they knew they could not live without the other.  And so a tentative bond began to form between this unsure, cowed woman and the fearless, curious child.  With each passing day, the bond grew stronger as they recognized the other and took turns caring for each other. 

I wish to continue to nurture this fearless child, that wild-haired, barefoot spirit that is as much me as is the poised, controlled woman in the dark business suit and heels.   She has been in hiding for too long and deserves to be set free again.  I wish to nurture the tenuous bond between us – she needs to learn to trust the world again for it has, in some ways changed.  And I need to learn to trust her instincts too so that once again I will be able to see as she does.