Everyday I get up and put on my mask. It is not me, it never was. I only wear it because I have to, because people I love depend on me wearing that mask so they can live the life they want. So I stand still in the shadow, waiting till it's safe to take the mask off and live. It can be an awful bore most times, and a gut wrenching pain always.
I wish to begin living authentically. The mask is old and worn and has started to fray. I am starting to fray and unravel. Maybe I should let it - let the mask fray into shreds and drop useless at my feet that stands inches from the sunlight I crave. Then maybe I can look in the mirror and see me. I am sure I will like what I see.
And maybe, after living all these years in the dark, wearing clothes and shoes that don't fit, walking steadily but never dancing, humming but never singing, talking but never speaking, touching yet never connecting - I can finally BE.
Oh, your post really touched me. The road to living in the world as our authentic selves is often wrought with many fears and stumbling blocks. In the meantime, it seems to me like the "REAL" us just won't be quiet until we start to break out of all the masks and such. It's a scary but fullfilling journey, and one that I wholeheartedly support.
ReplyDeleteAs you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well!
Grace
It´s your turn now. :) If you start your morning pages as you told me you might find some insight on how to do it.
ReplyDeleteAs Sharlene wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Nice, Sharlene. A peek into your soul. Tara na, come out into the sunlight!
ReplyDeleteAs you wish for yourself, I also wish for you. My all your wonderful wishes, on this great day come true!
ReplyDeleteIf you would like to check out either of my blogs here they are
http://www.adgb.blogspot.com/
http://art-a-day-keeps-the-crazies-away.blogspot.com/
I do understand. I grew up in a home where I was taught by example how to do that. Yet I have always been drawn to the difficult tasks, the challenges, the difficult people, the path that is not easy. And As I have gotten older, I'm discovering that this is my path. I belong on the difficult one, and it's the one where I have the most fun, the least competition, and I can find myself more and more. Your blog inspired me and assured me that yes, I am on the right path! As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.
ReplyDelete